The eCrozier

God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you. – St Augustine

Kelly and I like to walk our dogs in Savannah’s Forsyth Park. It’s a beautiful park, full of every possible variation of people one can find in Savannah. And, believe me, that’s a very wide variety. As we’re walking the dogs (or they’re walking us, I can never be sure), I’m always struck by how many people are wearing earphones presumably listening to music or a podcast of something or other. They’re isolated in their own little worlds while surrounded by this beautiful collage of people and dogs. It strikes me as odd that these people are self-isolating in the midst of so many people. On some level they want to be around other people, but on another they want to stay disconnected from them.

There’s a CD I’ve learned one can buy called Lonely No More. The CD, as I understand it, is intended for the user to play while being at home alone. The CD has many tracks. One is the sound of a shower running. Another is the sound of groceries being put away in kitchen cabinets. Yet another is the sound of a vacuum cleaner running. Each of the tracks is designed to give the listener the illusion that she or he isn’t alone.

Now, upon hearing this, we can shake our heads in disbelief pitying the poor souls out there who’d actually buy this CD. The reason it’s available, I presume, is because there’s a market for it. So, rather than feeling pity (and maybe feeling a bit superior to those who’d purchase the CD), we should recognize that there are many people who are isolated and lonely. They are willing to settle for the illusion of relationships and community through technology. Their loneliness can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yet, still more people simply don’t know there’s an alternative, or if they do, they don’t know how to break out of the trap they are in. Maybe these are some of the people we see in Forsyth Park, desiring connection with others, but not able for whatever reason to allow themselves the vulnerability that requires, protected as they are with their earphones.

Relationships are hard and messy. They require our time, effort, and attention. Other people, we surely know, will eventually disappoint us in some way and occasionally hurt us, even if they don’t intend to do so. My hunch is that some people calculate that, when all the factors are added up, it’s less painful to go their own way, be alone, and find ways to mitigate the pain that such loneliness causes. And we know it does cause pain. All the research data out there tells us that from infancy to senior citizenry, we need one another in order to thrive and be emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy.

The truth of the biblical witness is that God has made us to be in communion with God and with one another. As St Augustine prayed, we’re hard-wired spiritually to commune with God and one another. And this is where the Church comes in. We’re called to be a people of such communion.

+Scott