The eCrozier

There’s an insightful video on Youtube that asks: “What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church? A Parable.” It’s a devastating critique of a visitor’s first experience of church. I cringed when I viewed it because it rang so true to my observation of how visitors experience church in so many places. Please view the video. It will help you get a feel for what first-time visitors often go through when they come to church.

When visitors come to church I believe there are three core dynamics to which we must be attentive. First, the visitor has to feel safe and accepted. This is common to all people with any new experience of a place. They won’t stay if they don’t feel both safe and accepted. If they have children, then that emotional concern is heightened even more. Often visitors are either completely ignored or they’re almost tackled, hog-tied, and smothered with attention. Neither extreme helps them experience safety and acceptance. What about your church needs to change to meet this basic emotional need of visitors for safety and acceptance?

The second core dynamic is inclusion. If visitors have never been to church before or if their prior church experience didn’t have a liturgy similar to ours, then they’ll be a bit lost. When do they stand, sit, or kneel? Some people are crossing themselves, should they do that? Are they welcome at the altar? Which book do they use and when? When they look around and everyone else seems to be negotiating worship with ease, then it’s hard for them to experience inclusion, and consequently they feel incompetent. No one likes feeling that way. It’s why I don’t play golf. I’m incompetent at it. If I could play it better, then I would enjoy it. Helping visitors achieve a basic competence in our worship helps them experience inclusion. Having veteran worshippers sit with visitors to subtly and gracefully assist them with worship helps. Does your church do that?

Another part of inclusion must happen if visitors return for a second visit. Returning means they feel safe and accepted enough to come back. They’ve also crossed the hurdle of inclusion enough to envision themselves possibly being a part of this Christian community. But for that to happen they have to be able to imagine themselves as being able to offer who they are and the gifts they have to the church. Too often, with the best of intentions, we don’t invite new people to offer themselves. We don’t want to pressure them, we think. But this actually undermines the inclusion process. Early on we should ask them questions like: “What do you enjoy doing? What are your interests?” Then we should find a way to invite them into a part of the church’s mission and ministry that matches their enjoyment and interest. All people want to feel they’re contributing and making a difference. How does your church include people in this way? Do new people have to wait a few years before being invited? If so, they might not be there.

The last core dynamic is trust development. Once someone experiences safety and acceptance, and then inclusion they’re beginning to develop trust in the community. But that’s not guaranteed. The church’s leadership must stay focused on developing trust. I’m devoting next week’s entire eCrozier to this core dynamic. Stay tuned.

+Scott