The eCrozier

Dan Ariely, a behavioral economist at Duke University, has created a new iPhone app that gives users random compliments. We humans are not only sensitive to critical comments, but we also become positively responsive when we get kind, supportive words, according to Ariely’s research. Such compliments help us feel better about ourselves and even about the world around us. The compliment can come from an intimate friend or from a complete stranger, Ariely argues, and it will have the same affect. You can find this free app (called At a boy!) at http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/at-a-boy/id371156872?mt=8

The mere fact that such an app is available (and apparently popular) tells us that many people are longing for affirmation in our culture.

Now, I am not in favor inappropriate flattery or using compliments in an effort to manipulate people. Both are certainly done by people and I usually experience great disease when on the receiving end or when I witness such behavior directed at others. Besides, such flattery and manipulation has a short shelf life and does not ultimately “build up,” as St Paul would say.

Nevertheless, let us not discount the importance we should place on affirming (or complimenting) those with whom we serve. All of us can recall times when an affirming, truthful word from someone we respected made a huge difference in our work or in our ministry. It is so easy to find fault; to look at what is lacking; to focus only on what needs to be fixed, whether that be in our lives or in other people’s lives.

What if, rather than leading with those approaches, we led with finding in ourselves and others the good and the virtuous? And then, with our words and actions, we truthfully communicated that all around? My hunch is we would be engaging in a Pauline-inspired building up of our community. And if you do not know, the Church needs such building up

+Scott