The eCrozier

Dr. Daniel Shapiro directs Harvard’s International Negotiation Program. The program researches issues related to “emotional and identity-based dimensions of regional conflict and terrorism.” When Dr. Shapiro addresses a context that will require some negotiated settlement between conflicting parties, he offers five Core Concerns that participants should take with them into the context every time. These Core Concerns are appropriate whether it be a context as simple as a disagreement between spouses or as complex as a cease-fire in a civil war (truth be told, I’ve never witnessed or experienced a “simple” disagreement between spouses, but I accept Dr. Shapiro’s point here).

His Core Concerns for people entering such conflict negotiation are:

(1) Appreciation – do you feel appreciated and do you appreciate the others who are in conflict with you?

(2) Autonomy – are you experiencing freedom to make your own choices without feeling coercion and are you respecting such freedom in others and not coercing them?

(3) Affiliation – Even in a conflict situation, the context has brought us together. Like it or not, we are affiliated in the here and now. Can we recognize the mutual stakes we have?

(4) Status – Conflicting parties may experience a power differential in the conflict. If the other’s status is not being respected, then the conflict is almost impossible to resolve.

(5) Role – do you have a feeling of being a part of the solution? Are you creating space for the others in the conflict to have that role as well?

These five Core Concerns strike me as being quite congruent with our own baptismal covenant as disciples of Jesus. “Respecting the dignity” of others, “striving for justice and peace,” and “loving our neighbors as ourselves” are all manifested in Dr. Shapiro’s Core Concerns as is Jesus’ so-called Golden Rule where we are commanded to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

Our Church’s congregations are always in some level of conflict. Most of the time it is just minor stuff, but sometimes it gets quite heated with perceptibly high stakes. And, of course, we live in a culture and time where conflict seems to be more and more the currency of exchange. So, the issue is not conflict avoidance. That will not deal with it. It will just send it into dormancy until it pops up even worse.

No, the issue is how are we as ones who follow Jesus going to enter into and walk through conflicted situations together? Are we going to do it in a way that glorifies God and marks as Christ’s own or are we going to resort to the practices du jour that we see modeled in the larger culture?

I strongly urge each of us to take Dr. Shapiro’s Core Concerns to heart whenever we enter into even the smallest of conflicts. Those disagreeing with us, those who we may even call our enemies, must be respected and honored because a resolution to the conflict will not happen without them.

+Scott