The eCrozier

Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant – Mark 10:43b

If we want greatness, Jesus says, then we must be willing to live our lives upside down compared to the rest of the world. This is the essence of discipleship that James and John missed in their interaction with Jesus in this Sunday’s Gospel reading. It’s one, however, we dare not miss.

For the first part of my life, I missed it completely. When I was younger, I used to think that being a disciple of Jesus meant becoming personally pious. And, as a young adult, I did. You’d have been proud of me. I lived by the motto: “I don’t smoke, drink, or chew, or go with girls who do!” I was the model young adult. I even won the American Legion “God and Country” award at my high school. Impressed, aren’t you? But what marked my so-called discipleship back then was not what I did, but what I didn’t do. About the only thing I did was carry my Bible around. This, I figured, would show my discipleship to the world. But no one cared. No one persecuted me for doing so (sorry Fox News). Most people thought it was nice and cute and everybody should have their own thing.

My discipleship was based on empty piety. I was no different than the disciples, James and John. They wanted power and privilege because of their closeness to Jesus. I wanted it as a reward for my pious behavior. But I was clueless. My Jesus, at the time, was an upwardly mobile savior. He was the exact replica of the world’s standard of power and privilege. I thought that if I just was pious enough, I could have a seat next to him in eternity. My problem was that there was no blood on the cross of my Jesus. It was squeaky clean and neatly polished. My Jesus rewarded inane, pious behavior.

But the Jesus of the Gospel says: “the foxes have holes, the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no where to lay his head.” If I wanted to be his disciple, then I had to accept that I might just end up like him. I better be willing to be baptized with his baptism and to drink the cup he drank. I’ve by no means lived fully into his baptism and his cup. That is my confession and it occupies most of my prayer life. I’m still learning to let go of my unholy desire for power and privilege and to live into a life of service and sacrifice. It’s a daily prayer of mine. I know it’s the right road to be on, but I am a sinner, so I fail more days than not.

But some might not see it as the right road to be on. Some might wonder if this upside down Kingdom really exists, and if it does, is it the right one? Some might think that only a fool would turn his back on the way the world plays the game of power and privilege. After all, it’s a well-known axiom that you need power to get anything done. It might seem foolish not to play by the world’s rules of power and privilege. And yet, our faith tells us that the kingdoms of this world are doomed to pass away; even the kingdom known as the United States of America is doomed to pass away. Only God’s Kingdom is eternal. So, I’d rather, in the end, throw my lot in with God’s Kingdom knowing it’s one based on mercy for an almost daily failure like me.